Wonderfully Weird

Peter Ostrum with Gene Wilder in 1971 film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Photo Credit: Mirror.co.uk

I recently read an article written by James Victore about "The Undeniable Benefits of Being Weird," and it made me think about all of the times I felt so weird amongst my peers growing up. Have I suppressed this weirdness as an adult? Many times, yes. Have I released this weirdness without a care in the world throughout moments in my life? When I had the courage, absolutely.
 

That’s when others are inspired by your cause. That’s when you find those people, that audience, who accept you not because you’re weird or different, but for whom you really are. You create the potential for shared humanity, and allow others to see their struggle reflected in yours. Ultimately you hear that glorious refrain; “Oh, you’re weird? I thought I was the only one!” This is how businesses are formed. This is how relationships are formed. This is how you find your people.

- James Victore

This paragraph is truth. I have a story to prove that it is.

At my previous job, I was required to use the software product, Trello. Ugh... I hated it. I was the only one on my team who hated it. They pointed and giggled at me every time I rolled my eyes while using the product that "we, as a team," decided to use to manage our projects. Just thinking about it makes me twitch. When it came to Trello, I was weird - and I thought I was the only one. 

Until... [Pause Button] I wrote previously about the Service Design Conference I attended a few months ago and I mention this because this is where the Trello hater meet the other Trello hater. [Ok, Play Button]... I met Erik Flowers. This is how the meet cute played out:
 

Erik: "Service Design [blah, blah, blah]... ugh, I hate Trello."

Me: [gasp]

Erik: [head turns towards me because my gasp was so loud]

Me: "Omg... seriously? I hate Trello! I thought I was the only one who hated Trello!"

Erik: "HA"

Like James Victore stated, I had found another one of 'my people' in this one connection of weirdness. I made a new friend to be weird with and oh man, has it been an adventure. 😱

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This is Erik at Blue Bottle Coffee in Palo Alto, CA where we hung out and got to tell each other our stories.

I was in NorCal about a month ago and was able to schedule some time with Erik. He wanted to meet at Blue Bottle Coffee because of a specific waffle that they sell. When he told me this, I thought, "Whoa. That's exactly what I do. Go to destinations with delicious food I've been craving... he is SO cool." It made me wonder if there was anything else we had in common.

It turns out that the list of similarities runs quite long - to the point where both of us were sort of shocked at what we were both pursuing in the near future. We had similar backgrounds of studies, philosophically aligned when it came to topics like "theoretical design," and his humor was on par with the many comedians I appreciate. I couldn't believe it. The universe is so weird.

Erik has since become a good friend of mine and has also encouraged me to make this blog public and available to the internet. (If you're liking this blog, thank Erik! Check out his blog too - great topics executed with pristine writing.) He recently spoke at the Service Design Conference that took place in SF a few weeks ago, launched a website called Practical Service Design with Megan Miller, and is pretty much taking the Service Design world by storm. 

It's important to have a support system around you and to also be a support system towards others - this is survival at its most basic definition. I'm looking forward to seeing more great things from Erik as time goes on. I'm also looking forward to his thoughts on the things I produce in the near future. I wondered today what would've happened if I didn't expose my weirdness about Trello. I deleted that thought and replaced it with a 'thank you' to the awful Trello for bringing Erik into my life.

So, I encourage you to release your weird. You will find your people this way and feel human connections you very well may have missed but oh so deeply need in your life. Who would've thought that being a Trello hating weirdo would serendipitously bring a wonderful friendship into my life? Even that thought is just so wonderfully weird.

(A note about the waffle: Right when we got to the counter, they said they stopped serving food 5 minutes before we got there. Hearts were broken. We will return.)

UX/Service Design Notes: Putting wonderfully weird quirks into your product/service can create extended human connections based on what certain people find enjoyable and memorable. When people get together to share their experiences, products and services are often on the top of the list. If you want to create excitement and have a competitive edge over others, add a little weirdness to the mix - it's like free marketing.

The Notion of Home

Night scene at Malibu Beach.

I moved to Chicago 5 years ago to attend graduate school and I haven’t moved back to the place where I was born and raised just yet. Perhaps I never will. Part of me feels that if I move back, my adventure book is over and real life will have to settle in – as if real life hasn’t settled in yet. Ha. I don’t know why I feel this way but I do. In the meantime, I've filled my adventure book with many new experiences, people, discoveries, and memories - all of which I would never take back for anything in this world because it has made me who I am today, but I do ponder its value from time to time.

Needless to say, this word, "Home", has been on my mind.

For the first time in 5 years, I went back to California to just hang out. No graduations to attend, no Christmases to construct, no New Years Eve and Day to coordinate. I just went there to hang out – so I hung out.

Los Angeles Freeway where many spend their time if they are a resident of LA. (Of course, it is THE 10 - not just 10.)

I drove around my neighborhood, my high school, junior high school, elementary school, my play areas during my teens and early twenties, the very first apartment that housed me when I was birthed at Cedar Sinai, the place where I worked as a barista when the economy crashed, and all around Los Angeles. I still can’t grasp all of the emotions that flooded my time there but I will say this – I was comfortable but so out of place, all at the same time. I sometimes wonder if I will always feel this way about Los Angeles.

I was also able to catch up with friends – all of whom I have kept in touch with over the years but life trajectories have taken us in many different directions. Some expressed their feelings of being left behind and some even shared their feelings of wondering whether our relationship fit within the definition of ‘friend’ or ‘acquaintance'. I had encouragement from some, hurt feelings from others, but most of all, I was able to realize and see the evolvement of relationships which is at the core of what we as humans thrive on. Where I am right now with my relationships is different than what it was before – that means life has happened and there is joy in that fact. Where the relationship will go in the future is undetermined – and I must be ok with that as well. Maybe even excited with that fact.

My siblings and I spending time together in NorCal where my brother resides.

I couldn't help but snap a photo of this gorgeous woman with San Francisco gracing her background.

My siblings and I at Twin Peaks viewing center.

Even as a nomad, your relationship with how you travel and experience the world evolves. This is a relationship with nature and environments. Even if you are someone who has never left their environment, your relationship with others as you age and encounter different life stages changes and grows you as a person. This is a relationship with your body and immediate surroundings. At the end of the day, it is always about relationships and how you interact and respond to happenings. We grow as humans as we interact with each other and things, recording new memories and recognizing our own patterns of similarities to draw us closer to others who share the same outlook on life.

This sabbatical has taught me to rediscover my roots and to really consider how I have evolved as a person – what my beliefs have been and are now, who I consider "close" in my life, and how much of my past will affect my future if I allow it to.

Beautiful tiles in Silverlake.

Bustling Intelligensia on Sunset.

Lunch at my favorite place - Forage.

It’s hard to really understand where you come from, why you are the way you are, and to be self-aware if you don’t want to be – maybe even if you do – but I think it is important, as a human of this world, to know who you are so that you can contribute to the world and interact with others in a manner that is true and sincere.

If you look at the trajectory of people who are pursuing passion projects, quitting their day jobs, and taking that bold step into the abyss of the unknown, the count is high and will only get higher. Why is this? I wondered the same thing myself and after some thought, my conclusion is this. We are sick of it and want more for our lives. It is true that our generation is demanding, pretty egotistical, and generally big headed, but it is also true that our generation is more thoughtful, conscious of our environment, and willing to try because we want purpose and intention with what we do.

I commend people who have discovered and resolved to move forward with certain decisions from an early age. Sometimes you meet people in their twenties and they just have it figured out – or at least they seem like they do. I'm actually quite proud to be born in a generation who is unwilling to take no for an answer and to mine a path for themselves. Passion must prevail. Life must have intention and joy.

There's only one problem - that is of loneliness.

When you're that busy and passionate, you walk a line of hurting others in the process - and when you hurt enough people, you will be left alone - or worse, you run the risk of losing yourself. Consistency is a key ingredient in the formula for a healthy relationship and that can come in any shape or form. It just has to be consistent. Is it the happy face upon meeting every few months? Is it a weekly call just to check-in on how each person is doing? Or is it a daily text, 'Goodnight'? Everybody is busy and it requires discipline to keep relationships just like it requires discipline in mastering a medium. It can't be fun all the time but acknowledging that it's part of the formula is an understanding that I feel has finally made its way into my heart.

What I have discovered is that no matter how much the world can satiate your desire to experience new things and enjoy momentary bliss in a new setting, it is always another human who can actually absorb your energy as another human and connect with you in the context of vulnerability. This is no easy task, especially if you are a creative person who is consistently morphing as the creative spirits beckon you - and you, of course, must answer. Must.

Spending time with my adorable and spunky nieces.

So, the moral of the story is this: It really doesn't matter where you are (location wise). Treasure those who ground you (sounds so cliche but it is, nonetheless, true) and be consistent. Allow yourself to feel the heights of joy when new experiences and new people fall into your path. Select wisely. Change with the people you love and be willing to listen and understand. Discipline yourself to master your craft because it is a precious relationship to nurture, but know that the craft itself is not human.

This entry may seem really sappy and you may be wondering, "How does this relate to HCD?"

Well, I'm here to write that this, all of it - however way you want to see it, is how I am designing my life. For the years to follow, until I am able to take another sabbatical, the things I am learning right now will determine the decisions and behaviors of which I will be responsible for in the years to come. I'm creating rules and restrictions for myself to live within and finding intentional areas in which I can allow excessive freedom and creativity. I am researching my past and current experiences to find those insights I can base my future actions upon. I am writing down design opportunities for my life so that I can experience new things that are connected to everything I have experienced thus far. I am leaving room for the beautiful moments of life to occur because committing to restrictions brings a depth of knowing the mystery cloud that intrigues but is never understood by the ever wanderer.

How this will unfold is undetermined and only time will tell.

How will you design your life?

Detroit: Land of Potential

I use the words 'magic' and 'magical' a lot. Ask anyone who knows me - they are both some of my favorite words. Ever.

I've been thinking about these words though and I had a thought. It seems a bit insincere to describe something as magical – almost like a cop out. At times it can be misconstrued as lazy and/or non-descriptive. Often, one who is speculative will ask, “Well, what does that mean? Magic, how?” But there are those times when the feels seem to be coming from a mystical space, or when there really is no explanation for certain happenings. This is when, I believe, the term ‘magical,’ is and can be used appropriately. Ladies and gentlemen, Detroit is a magical place – and I will tell you why.

When you think about the 60’s and what an important time that was for our nation in terms of politics, fashion, design, race, drugs, literature, etc., I always wonder if we, too, are living in a time where 50 years down the line, history books will reference material from our decade and use it as a beacon to measure the make of many things. I think that in some spaces/industries, like that of our tech world, this thought has already come to fruition, but to measure the sheer amount of things that happened within the decade of the 60s would be impossible to compare the activity of what is available in 2015. The availability, desire, and the make isn’t quite there. Internationally, it isn’t quite there either. We aren’t suffering from a global famine or depression that clouded the experiences of many generations. You can literally get anything delivered to you within 2 days - or rather, 2 hours.

The reason I bring this up is because there is a city that almost captures the entire measure of possibility poised in the 60s and that city is… you guessed it – Detroit.

That’s a pretty bold thing to say, no? I agree. I wondered whether or not I should write such a thought that is gasp worthy. It’s like when my brother stated that the new Alabama Shakes soundtrack, 'Sound and Color,' was the best soundtrack of 2015. “Blasphemy.” I said, “You can’t just say stuff like that. Taylor Swift’s album, 1989, is damn good.” And then I heard it from beginning to end and decided that it really is pretty amazing. I hate it when I'm wrong. I'm such a sore loser.

Anyway, perhaps my experience in Detroit has skewed my vision of what I am about to say (and that is precisely why User Experience is so important), but I won’t make my UX notes until the very end of this post. I will say, however, that what I lived through in the two short weeks of my stay in Detroit was as blissful as fresh cotton candy.

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There are 3 things: The physical city structure, the people, and the political climate.

An image of Corktown on a Sunday afternoon.

1. The Physical City Structure

Right now, a city that was built for 3 million people is currently inhabited by 750,000. An urban landscape like that already calls for curiosity. The feeling of physical emptiness is something that I believe everyone should experience and although I don't think you should just tour Detroit, I encourage you to go and just sit - preferably by yourself. Feel the emptiness of a city that has been abandoned and begin to imagine what it was like and what it could be like. 

For me, a whirlwind of things came to mind. In one of my imaginations, I placed the magic of Motown and saw the hustle and bustle of well dressed people enjoying the pleasures of life without a care in the world. In another, I saw the important business meetings that were occurring within the automotive industry which drove America's great invention to the spotlight of almost every country's news stand around the world. Martin Luther King, Jr. also came to mind as I was able to more accurately place where the 'Walk to Freedom' speech rang to and from the streets of Detroit. Rosa Parks was there too - badass interventions and all.

But now it's empty. Everyone left. This, to me, is worse than actually building a city. It's like throwing away food - the act should be painful. So, if we were to think of a city as food, Detroit is a garden full of ingredients that policy makers, industry leaders, artists, activists, and the list goes on, can begin to cook a feast with - with unbound creativity. And if it all goes right, Detroit could be a model city that other cities in the United States could look to for advice. The key will be to thoroughly study the successes and mistakes of other cities in history and to conduct small prototype-like experiments on what might actually make a city in America better. The risk is this: It can either go really well, or it can go very poorly. There is no middle ground. 

Metropolis Bike Shop in Corktown.

2. The People

Watching people is probably one of life's greatest gifts. No - not in the creepy way that some of you may have just interpreted it, but in the piecing together way of understanding a culture that can be then be described on paper from an anthropological perspective. Sheesh people. Come on. :) Side Note: I fundamentally believe this is why one must travel. It doesn't have to be to another country but even to neighboring towns - this not only brings self-awareness but also births inspiration.

During my experience in Detroit, I not only met a group of people who I can already call my extended family but from a community perspective, I experienced a lot of eye-contact and simple 'Hello's' from random strangers. I thought this was strange at first not only because of its sheer existence (I'm from Los Angeles where ignoring people is the norm) but these interactions had one thing in common compared to many other cities I have visited - and that is sincerity. What I noticed is that the scarcity of people in Detroit as well as the condition of the city of Detroit, has created a culture of human acknowledgement and small encounters that are just as connective as a 3 hour long chat with a friend with coffee in hand. What beauty, no?

I thought about why this behavior exists and what I have found is that the people of Detroit, those who have been born and raised there as well as those who have made it their home, are perhaps under a level of survival mode. I could hear silent voices whispering, "You must acknowledge one another. You must depend on each other. The others have left us and they aren't coming back. You are all we have." I could be totally wrong but I do believe that there is a level of truth to my analysis. When you're in survival mode you see extreme behavior which is something that Detroit is no stranger to. As much kindness I received from gentle strangers, there was just as must violence in the neighborhood next door. 

This image is from some steps of a home at The Heidelberg Project.

3. The Political Climate

When I met a few of the people I was going to be working with for the first time, they educated me on several things that would prep me for my stay. One statement rang truer and stronger than others and it was this:

"If you're going to live in Detroit, you have to be willing to talk about Detroit. All the time." 

- Adam + Lena Selzer

I'd like to bring attention to this fact only because this is the kicker for how Detroit can and will change - and, quite frankly, the fact that everyone wants it to change. Politics as we know it is in shambles right now but when humans are presented with devastation, one of two things can happen. The ill-willed politicians can arrive and push an agenda that has a manipulative and underlying benefit for another population; or a community can rise up and write their own story if given the opportunity and the tools to do so. To the people, from the people. 

During my stay, Grace Lee Boggs passed away. I'm not quite sure how the community of Detroit felt about it only because I didn't hear a lot of people talk about it. I didn't have a TV so news reports weren't really spouting information to me about this either. I did have the internet though and there were several articles written about her physical and spiritual departure. What did this mean for Detroit? Something in the air was fishy and I feel as though her departure may have been a wake-up call for the city to use as inspiration for the future. Her writings on politics and new societies will be even more precious because of her death and perhaps the city will consider acting upon her wisdom and knowledge. Maybe Detroit needed her spirit to leave in order to become what she wanted it to be.

The fact that our U.S. government made an investment into the city of Detroit is reason enough to know that in the game of politics, all eyes are on Detroit. Who will make the first move? Who will be the leader of change? Who will be the villain in the story? Can Detroit actually become a great city again? I suppose time will tell.

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Maybe this was a honeymoon stage of my relationship with Detroit. Perhaps there is so much more that I didn't see and this entry is absolutely invalid. What I do know, though, is that I am shaped by my experiences which are now shaping my thoughts and expectations about Detroit in a personal way. I cannot stress the fact that this is why UX is so critical to our lives. People make decisions based on what they know and have experienced in the past - as well as whether or not they feel safe enough to experience something new and different in the future. As a UX professional, what will you consider when you are designing your next experience? 

From what I have seen, there is so much potential for this city. The hardest part of something that has potential is that most of the time, the thing must meet its appropriate nurturers to correctly lead it up to where it can reach. On the flip side, the thing must recognize its nurturer and commit to struggle through the pain of growing into something it wants to be. It would be an atrocity to see Detroit go into shambles again especially when the potential is so high. America has never had a city that hasn't disappointed its citizens and the problem most likely exists within the larger government. The thing that I can't get out of my mind though is, "How has Helsinki, Stockholm, and Copenhagen achieved such greatness in their constructs of their environments? If they can do it, aren't there ways that we can? Why must we always be so reactive rather than proactive with our communities?"

Can HCD and its various forms help Detroit? If you'd ask me, I'd say, "Absolutely."

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